1. |
chin up
02:44
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chin up, girl
you can call it a day
fucked it up
just your luck
that’s enough
don’t be a cliche
you want it too bad
this too shall pass
it’s all in your head
and it’s not gonna last
cause it’s far too late
and your chance is gone
and you’ve gotta grow up
so you better move on
there’s an ember glowing
even with the heat lost
it’s ancient and knowing
and it comes at a cost
you can live without it
or at least you can try
if you don’t ever use it
then it might as well die
(more oohs)
bright side, girl
at least you learned young
grin and bear it
never share it
promise, swear it
and let it just be done
go make yourself pretty
have you tried breathing in?
get you out of this city
fix the shape that you’re in
it’s a gift you insulted
it’s a choice not a chore
jesus christ, you’re impatient
should’ve listened before
there’s an ember glowing
and you need it like touch
and it used to be brighter
but you’re asking too much
you can live without it
or at least you’ll survive
and it’s just a fool’s errand
trying to keep it alive
you’re afraid and you know it
push it back, swallow down
cause you don’t want it showing
with these people around
there’s an ember glowing
gotta figure out how
you’re gonna keep on going
if it ever burns out
© 2020 Adrienne Bocci-Barrett
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2. |
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that house was home before our falling out
couldn’t stay
could’t live that way
who would’ve known that i would burn the whole thing down?
the wreck of us, ashes
ashes into dust
i’ve weathered storms, or so i thought before
felt it in the air, found no shelter there
made up my mind, lit it up, left it behind
no regrets, no i’ve got nothing
nothing yet
there’s so much i’m dying to ask you
but i don’t trust a word coming out of your mouth
and you keep saying you weren’t trying to hurt me
and it hurts anyway
and it hurts worse somehow
it would be wrong to say I was unhappy
i covered my eyes, saw whatever i felt
we both told some lies, mine i kept to myself
i’ll be alright once you’re out of my life
go be a better man
to somebody
somebody else
© 2020 Adrienne Bocci-Barrett
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3. |
talk
02:58
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i talk like i’m made of my plans
i can list them line by line
sign my name and shake some hands
talk like i’m seeing it clear
no fog off in the distance
no danger’s gonna find me here
it’s nothing but talk
nothing but talk
nothing but talk (no no)
it’s nothing but talk
nothing but talk
nothing but talk (no no)
talk like i know how it ends
read the script for parts i skipped
it’s not the call i’d recommend
talk like i’m running the show
reacting just in passing
thinking fast but moving slow
nothing but talk
nothing but talk
nothing but talk (no no)
i’m saving my bravery for reasons unknown
seizing the moment, can’t say that it’s so
all i do is stand still and watch it unfold
talk like i've got it so bad
on the surface, this is perfect
there’s shame in all the safe i've had
talk like i'm keeping it together
like my hands don’t hurt
and i know my worth
will this be this forever?
wasted some good years i’ll never get back
this fortress i built up is under attack
if i want to do this, i'm not gonna ask
Talk like i’m seeing it clear
No fog off in the distance
No danger’s gonna find me here
© 2020 Adrienne Bocci-Barrett
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4. |
ride or die
03:02
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truth is right there in her eyes
the hardest part is explaining
if you felt it all the time
you’d break your bones trying to change it
when you’re clawing through the clutter
seeking strength at the bottom
listen to the place in you
that knows you’ve already got it
it keeps repeating
it keeps repeating
it’s all ride or die, she says
there is no other big picture
and when she’s standing in the fire
she’s just so glad you’re there with her
every little spark split off and
spread out into the ever
some think you’re just wasting days
too late to put it back together
but you know you’ve been here before
and this is how you remember
it keeps repeating
it keeps repeating
it keeps repeating
as long as you need it
© 2020 Adrienne Bocci-Barrett
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5. |
for keeps
03:02
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raised the stakes and i'm committed
too deep in it to back-peddle now
faith in fate or total happenstance
guess i'll take the chance and hope it works out
face to face, it's terrifying
but i'm not buying, chatter is cheap
laces laced and pulse rebelling
but i'm not selling, i play for keeps
stutter, stumble
i won't let it shake me
blunder, bumble
it's not gonna break me
don't care what they think
don't care what they say
finally found my voice
and nothing can take it away
i'm all in, i'm all about it
i've been without it, i've seen where it leads
forget the fate and fortune telling
i'm not selling, i play for keeps
stutter, stumble
i won't let it shake me
blunder, bumble
it's not gonna break me
don't care what they think
don't care what they say
i finally found my voice
and nothing can take it away
© 2020 Adrienne Bocci-Barrett
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6. |
halfway clean
03:07
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she saw your mess and she laid it bare
back then i'd follow anywhere
so i turned my gaze and i let you in
and i never even asked you where you’d been
you did or you didn’t
but you were landing in between
said get your story straight, boy
no more coming halfway clean
i gave you my warmth when it felt brand new
might not mean much, at least not to you
but you chased and you charmed and i let you in
and i never even asked you where you’d been
you did or you didn’t
but you were landing in between
said get your story straight, boy
no more coming halfway clean
and it tore you up like a heavy hunger
and we fought for air and you pulled me under
and i begged you please won’t you try explaining
you just kept me waiting
she saw your mess and she laid it bare
back then i’d follow anywhere
© 2020 Adrienne Bocci-Barrett
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7. |
the ending waltz
03:37
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someday we’ll find our lives ending
for all that we know, that’s the only known truth
read science fiction
you’ll notice predictions
of bionic men and fountains of youth
but somehow i don’t see a future
where you i and never get old
our days here are numbered
then eternal slumber
or something like that and that’s all that we’re told
i know i hold my life tightly
it hurts just to say it out loud
there’s no way out of it ending
so i better let go and live now
somewhere in all that will happen
you and i someday will probably part
each day i choose you
don’t know how i’ll lose you
the thought of without you tears me clean apart
but somehow i still see the beauty
in all that is left unresolved
no doubt that it’s tragic
but there’s also magic
in the way everything someday dissolves
only our losses remind us
we’re lucky to lose love somehow
there’s no way out of it ending
so i better let go
so i better let go and live now
© 2020 Adrienne Bocci-Barrett
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8. |
8.16
04:17
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i'm not one for promises, they almost seem like lies
i don't have the answers and i can't claim otherwise
maybe we'll remember this as the right side of regret
this could be the worst mistake we haven't made just yet
no way to tell which way we're going
and who we'll be, there's no way of knowing
don't count me out, you always pull me in
and yes, i'm scared, i can't really hide it
but i'll leave it here, i'm not going to fight it
no love in fear, you always pull me in
and i've looked all my life and nothing else has ever felt so true
and i can't imagine standing up there with anyone else
with anyone else
with anyone else but you
we could live here in this house for half a century
every day could be the same, that would be alright with me
we could wind up somewhere new or lose everything we own
as long as i have you to hold, i will have a home
no way to tell which way we're going
and who we'll be, there's no way of knowing
don't count me out, you always pull me in
and yes, i'm scared, i can't really hide it
but i'll leave it here, i'm not going to fight it
no love in fear, you always pull me in
and i've looked all my life and nothing else has ever felt so true
and i can't imagine standing up there with anyone else
with anyone else
with anyone else but you
© 2020 Adrienne Bocci-Barrett
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9. |
the tides
03:21
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this pain echoes out all along the divide
we’re just anger in voices and lungs filled with pride
well you’ve got your doubts, and there’s depth to each one of them
i’ve got my doubts and they change with the tides
so what do we do when our brothers betray us?
can we forgive when we’re sure that we’re right?
i don’t want to hate you, i don’t think i have to
even in this darkness, i still believe in the light
there’s nature in violent behavior, i know
and what good can i do when i'm just me alone?
a seed seems so small in the scheme of the universe
that doesn’t stop it from starting to grow
so what do we do when we’re all made to suffer?
no way around it, you’re probably right
but i can start learning to love what i’m given
even in this darkness, i still believe in the light
you’re gonna tell me it means nothing anyway
and i’m gonna tell you you’re probably right
but i will decide how to live while I’m living
even in this darkness, i still believe
(i still believe)
in this darkness, i still believe
(i still believe)
in this darkness, i still believe in the light
© 2020 Adrienne Bocci-Barrett
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10. |
holes
03:09
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i’m on my way up but i know about down
i know all the thoughts that don’t serve me
that people don’t like me or want me around
and I’m selfish and ugly and dirty
there’s too much to learn and i’m too far behind
that some of us have it and some simply don’t
and i've made bad decisions and i’ve run out of time
and some of us make it but i simply won’t
some days i’m much better at telling myself
that it’s all part of the journey
that there is grace even in our mistakes
that even i am worthy
here’s what wakes up when i’m falling asleep
here’s what comes through when i’m restless
i'm not strong enough and each step is too steep
and carrying on would be senseless
that i’m just a coward, it’s etched on my heart
that fear can be read just like braille
that i’m not important or special or smart
and it’s my own goddamn fault that i’m gonna fail
some days i’m much better at telling myself
that everyone’s deserving
that though we’re flawed, we’re loved just as we are
and even i am worthy
even i am worthy
i’m so much more than the holes in my past
i choose to be who i am at long last
© 2020 Adrienne Bocci-Barrett
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ienne Lynn Portland, Oregon
Hi hi! Singer-songwriter. PDX, OR. Thank you for listening :)
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